“If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything, is ready, we shall never begin." - Ivan Turgenev
“Do not wait until the conditions are perfect to begin. Beginning makes the conditions perfect.” -Alan Cohen
Track 2, “The Ride”! I am publishing this a few days later than planned, but it has been quite a “ride” lately. It was a matter of minutes after I posted the first blog in this series (“The Wake”) that I received a call from my mom. When I saw her name come up on the caller ID... I knew. My grandpa, who had taken a fall nine weeks earlier, had passed away. This was my dad’s dad, and the first of my grandparents to pass. So, my wife and I headed up to Michigan for the funeral, and we have been trying to get caught up after being out of pocket for a few days.
This is life, right? Our plans get thwarted. Our friends move on. Our loved ones say goodbye. Life happens.
“The Ride” is about that.
I am done
Waiting for the clock to tell me when
Waiting for the right time to begin
This mess I’ve made will be a mountain where I stand
I am all about preparation and timing. But, for me, the best education has been just to go for it. Failing means learning. And sooner or later, those failures (lessons learned) pile up enough to give you a firm footing.
You’re never gonna stifle this persistence
You’re never gonna stop me with your friction
Every move I make I make in the one who puts this all in motion
“The One”, by the way, is Jesus Christ. He is my source.
I am living for more than the end
I’m not waiting for all of the answers
before I begin
Life really is short. In his song “Better Than Me” my friend Mike Kinnebrew says “Thirty years they just took to flight. Time just pulled me like a train.” That train pulls us faster and faster every year. We get so wrapped up in our goals and just getting through the day, that we forget to pause and simply take in this gift we call life. I am all about goals and reaching finish lines, believe me. But this race, this journey, has MUCH for us to take in, in every moment! That line between point A and point B is an exciting, hilly, bumpy, peaceful, happy, rocky, frustrating, smooth, sad, unbelievable ride. Ride!
Finally my eyes have vision
This open heart has a mission
Step by step by step
I follow the unstoppable leader of the hopeful broken
Throughout the process of writing, tweaking, recording, and releasing these songs I discovered even more how much every person on this planet has brokenness. I have heard nonstop story after story from friends, family, complete strangers, and random fans who have been through hell. Job losses, divorces, deaths, and broken hearts abound. I have also heard stories of people a few years removed from those same hard times. They have clarity. They are stronger. The wind was knocked out of them, and they had to start over. They had to be carried, then they crawled, then walked. Step by step by step by step by step...
This life it pulls
The ride it rises and it falls
Beyond our dreams when we were small
When we were fearless, before we lost it all
It’s sad to think that when these storms come, our “new normal” becomes a life with a little less innocence. I can think of no other time in my life when I felt more defeated and broken, as when my wife and I went through the loss of our daughter, Bella. We got robbed. That’s not the way things are supposed to be. Fearless will never again be an approach we take when it comes to having children.
That seems like a pretty downer statement. But this is our reality. This is life. This is our ride.
Now, I believe that we will have better days of hope and happiness. I believe that these waters will calm down. I believe that we will be fearless in other areas. But, I am learning to accept the bad along with the good. The dying with the living. Complete hope, while completely broken.